Sorry about the delay in updates my fellow readers, but here is a big 'un 
I've had ups and downs over the past month, but I am glad to see that October is going to end well for me. Despite being miserable last night, I got an unexpected proposal off Mikey. He told me he loves me and I replied back and we are in love! I now have a boyfriend!  Despite we havent met yet I defintely hope in November he will come to Birmingham and then we'll be together. It'll be heaven!
School has been a mixed bag. I am eager to see the results of this mid-term tests because I reckon I fluffed up on the human Geography paper, due to the fact the teacher is useless and very very boring. IT - I think I have got over the required 40% to pass that exam, because some of it was fairly straightforward. This year I have finally got my head down and got down to studying despite the problems.
Most of the people there are very boastful, arrogant and I think anti-social, but its their manner. These people are like the saddos of #eurosong who taunt me and Esen, insecure about themselves and like to gossip. I know three people there (at school) who are gossip queens, and those who gossip have their comedown one day. I may not have the security of friends around me at weekends (this will change when Mikey comes down ) and the chance to go to nightclubs but I am me. I dont dress to impress, I dont follow any images. I am me. A human being.
There are some nice people there, some nice classmates who are willing to work with me. Those people may have their own mates but they are themselves and are good to talk to in lessons. It takes my mind off things, and its good to work in a team with people.
My home life is OK. Im looking forward to my 18th on the 21st of November. The key to the door, and Im a man! Tommorow I have to help my Dad lay down the carpet in the lounge which I think will be a marathon task. The rest of the week - homework, sleep and I may go to town a couple of times this week, to FINALLY take those overdue library books and get my name cleared there.
I still have £60 in the bank from that loan, and I am expecting £230 in a week or two which'll be a big bonus. I'm saving that up for Christmas to get presents for the family and for Mikey plus if I can (which I will be free to do what I like) I am going to Liverpool to see him. At least New Years Eve 2002 will be better than 2001. A broken promise which left me impaintent and upset all evening, that night and I wont mention the truth I found out on the 4th of Jan.
Things will pick up when I turn 18, and even now they are getting there and Im nearly up there with everyone. Im strong and I dont think Id ever have the bottle to kill myself, because Id be scared to do it, and if I did I'd leave a lot behind and people do care about me. I shouldnt let idiots like Chris Melville, Steve and Pukkie get to me. Those people are sad themselves in their own way. Pukkie is a bitch because she has a mother who is very ill and her two older sisters are often working meaning she takes days off to look after her mom. She bullies because of her own home life. She is evil, but she is history. The same with Will, who is working in Iceland supermarket. He is history. Its the same with the people on the #966 bus who discuss a lot about their social life, whats the point in bragging and showing mates off? Just because they have them now they may not have them in ten years time, and if you are cruel at these place you get respect. If you are a total outsider youre chance does come, and I am nearly out of the dark hole. Im in for a revival, and I hope to build on my self-confidence a bit more.
Something does get me with most of the youth in this country. We have a drug problem. A big one. Once I saw people deal drugs at a bus stop on my way to school. It does make me wonder what will the future leaders and governments of this country will be like, and it is offering a scary thought on the social order too. Still at least Im adding years to my life unlike those who are subtracting years through illegall drug use. The people who do this are losers and they'll regret it. I feel my own health will get better over time and my asthma will die away when Im older.
One last thing. #eurosong should be called #hell and if any of those idiots (Chris, Steve, Charlotte (ho) and Darrell) read this, I am close to proving you wrong. I am getting a life. I am happy nearly. I can live without the room. If I get any hate-filled e-mails and comments off you, then you'll know where they will be
You idiots in there whose life revolves round #hell are quickly fading from my mind. Who is Chris? Who is Steve? You are gone and nearly forgotten in my system. No more.
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